Women have always been the bedrock of this country’s growth and development. Their contributions to deepening politics, education, the judiciary and the medical field are oftentimes without comparison.
Alongside those renowned giants are the stories of silent heroines. The women who were the first in their family to earn a degree, to break a generational curse, to write their own story of independence, where they play the lead role. Standing on this foundation of progress, many women today remain relentless in their pursuit of purpose. They are breaking glass ceilings and refining their skills so that we may benefit from the fullest expression of their potential.
This is reflected in the growing number of women ascending to lead business advocacy bodies that were once dominated by men. We have also seen our women rising to the challenge and emerging as standout figures in the oil and gas sector. While there is much that fills us with a profound sense of pride and inspiration, there is a troubling dark side to the community of women, which often raises its ugly head before and after International Women’s Day.
I’ve seen women who celebrate the accomplishments of others so long as those achievements are not larger than theirs. They speak their friends’ names in rooms of opportunity, as long as the job is not what they want. They fix the crown of another queen to count it as another feather in their cap. They give back-handed compliments, especially in public gatherings, to undermine a woman’s leadership ability.
These are but a fraction of the things that could make one reflect on the generalisation: women are their own worst enemies.
Being in the world of business, I have firsthand experience with women who claim to be supportive of our community, but their actions prove otherwise. One female acquaintance, for example, constantly portrays herself as an ambassador of positive values. It was later brought to my attention that the same person engages with online pages which tarnish the reputation of other women. Needless to say, it left me questioning my continued support for her work as her actions clearly contradict the values she publicly upholds.
The foregoing, along with many other experiences shared with me over the years, makes one ponder how much we sabotage our own progress and image as a community.
I have heard many women complain about how “the male-dominated system” or “the patriarchy” denies us opportunities to prove our worth. But there are instances when it is our own womenfolk holding us back, plotting and praying for our downfall.
As Minister of Parliamentary and Governance Affairs, Gail Teixeira said recently on the Starting Point Podcast, “We need to move away from painting all women as angels.” And she is absolutely right.
As much as we must champion the role of women and celebrate their progress, we also have a duty to interrogate the role we play in our collective regression. The truth is, some women are threatened by their fellow women’s intellect, beauty, charm and confidence. They are jealous of another woman’s sheer sense of style and natural leadership abilities.
Envy can show up as choosing to be agents of division over advocacy and unity. In the corporate world, this manifests as blocking another woman’s access to opportunities for fear of being outshone or forgotten. It can also undermine a woman’s ability to lead while choosing male leadership.
We cannot genuinely help the progression of women if we are unwilling to call out these biases. We may succeed in our independent lanes without accountability. But who stands to benefit the most when we do the work and who falls behind when we don’t?
We often talk about inclusive growth and women standing up for each other. But this won’t happen from merely parrotting “feel-good” lines. It will happen when we realise our value to society is optimised by genuinely working together. It will happen when we realise that our inter-dependence is our superpower.
The work ahead must, therefore, include rejecting the petty jealousies, doing away with the passive-aggressive critiques and condemning behaviour that can damage our community. It must be underpinned by a sense of love, which shows up as a protection of each other.
I do believe that we have it within us not only to celebrate our progress but also to confront our flaws and repair rifts where they exist. Marching forward together cannot only be seen on occasions that allow for good photo-ops. It must be seen and felt throughout the year and especially when the cameras are turned off. That’s where true solidarity is not only forged, but our collective gains stand a better chance of multiplying 10 times over.